The J-T-C Cake (ham, tomato, goat cheese), as told by the feudal chronicler Jean Dufourneau.
This article was published before 2022, therefore before the rise of generative AI. Some information may now be outdated. The period drawings and visuals shown here were created without the assistance of artificial intelligence.
ingredients for the cake
- 3 eggs
- 150g. of flour
- 150g of ham
- Between 100g and 150g of candied tomatoes (more or less)
- 1 packet of baking powder
- 100/150 of goat cheese
- 130ml of milk
- 80ml of olive oil
In the year of grace 2013 of our lord Jesus Christ, the lord Gontran de laquizyne undertook a long journey into unknown lands to liberate the tomb of the holy Toque.
150 grams of ham
His journey was not free of many troubles. His first encounter took place at the gates of the holy board. 150g. of ham descended upon him, rind as a banner. With courage and determination, he cut them to pieces in great number.
Goat cheese log (100 / 150 grams)
After ridding himself of this very cumbersome rabble, he was nevertheless accosted by a column of goat cheese, around 100g., which he immediately cut to pieces in the same manner, cutting into the living flesh and striking many thrusts, reducing it to a sufficiently small piece.
The knight cutting the goat slices
The goatish enemy is in pieces
But after such trials, Lord Gontran faced a band of candied tomato mercenaries determined to reduce him to peasant soil.
Candied tomatoes
Listening only to his brave heart, he cut them to pieces in turn.
Candied tomatoes to cut up
But his adventures did not end there. Crossing many insidious tides, he came upon strange yellow bas-reliefs that were not to his liking.
3 eggs to defeat
Realizing he could not negotiate passage, he decided to take action…
With his ally General Lefouet, who raised his host to stand against these 3 eggs of demons, he whipped them so well that they were reduced to dust, joining their ancestors.
Eggs to whisk[/caption>
So fierce was this combat that Gontran found himself caught in the entrails of his multitude of enemies, which had moreover, by great misfortune, been covered with about 150g. of flour.
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pour the flour and mix
Flour mixed
The battle was so fierce that the entrails of the eggs mixed with the flour slowly hardened as if enchanted by some curses of those cursed lands.
Then, finally, the yeast snow began to fall, announcing the deluge that Noah had foretold in his book of apocalypse.
Add the packet of baking powder
The baking powder blended with the rest of the combatants, by the power of the divine whisk.
mix everything together
Then the deluge struck… Torrents of milk (130ml) fell to ravage the lands where Lord Gontran had taken his place.
Pour the milk
And while the milk only mixed with the powders of the ancestors, a calamity of olive oil (80ml), this time, came down.
80ml of olive oil to pour and mix
Gontran then saw with his own eyes that famous ocean of apocalypse that few men have seen in their lifetime, a satanic result of the mixing of milk, oil, flour snow and yeasty sky, with the rest of the 3 eggs of infernal basilisks.
The sea of apocalypse…!
But Knight Gontran did not lose sight of his quest. The sacred texts interpreted by the scholars clearly dictated that, in order to break the spell, one had to plunge the bodies of the infidels into this ocean to conjure away the evil one. Which he did, under the blessing of Saint-culinary.
Pour in the ham, tomatoes and cheese, previously cut up
Little by little, the whole mixture blended together, giving off an aroma that was pleasing to the eternal.
Mix everything together one last time
Thus, these cursed souls burned in the flames of hell for about 20/25 minutes depending on the evil one’s activity.
Bake for 20/25 minutes
yum yum